In the past year, I have been reflecting on a couple of things, and one of the things that stood out for me is, “Saying no is powerful.” We are all so used to saying “Yes” all the time that sometimes we forget to say no.
“No” is a strong-willed word; it is widely believed that “No” is a negative thing and hurts the receiving party. It makes us miss out on exciting opportunities, which is one of the many reasons people are uncomfortable saying No. We all need to realize that saying no is not an insult or doesn’t make you seem rude or heartless; it is just a choice you made. It’s more like your right. The same energy you invest is saying “Yes” you can also put that in saying “No.”
One important evidence of growth in life is when you can say NO to a situation, opportunity, or anything you feel you shouldn’t say yes to. It shows how much you have grown, and that you are bold enough to say NO and mean it.
Why do people feel the need to say yes when they really mean to say no? If you’re one to do this, I am sure by now a lot of answers are running through your mind. You could be a people pleaser, not considering yourself first, thinking a yes will save that relationship or friendship.
Here’s what Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch had to say in their book, How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty:
Out of guilt or fear of confrontation, we take on more projects, invest in someone else’s priorities . . . In the process, we dissipate our most valuable personal resources — time, energy, and money — on things that aren’t important to us. Each time we agree to something without enthusiasm for interest, we waste a little more of these precious resources.
You’re working on 4 projects, and you know that you’re currently struggling with time management in fulfilling your potential for these 4 projects, but someone brings one more project, and you’re so quick to say yes. This does not only affect your mental health but also stresses you beyond what your body can take. Say no because if you’d not say no, your health will help you say no in the form of sickness, physical and mental stress.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be kind to others and help when you can. Please, the world is a difficult place, at every opportunity you get show love and kindness. Be nice to people, and don’t forget to show empathy.
However, it’s more healthy to say no, except there is a reason to say yes. Before you say yes, think about it this way. Should I do this? Will it affect my self-worth and me? Am I just doing this to please this person or because I want to do it? Is this the right step to take? It’s okay to think about your response. You can say it like, “please can you give me a few hours to think about it? I will get back to by 10 am” this shows how accountable and deliberate you are being. It’s better to say no from the beginning than do something really disappointing.
We all need to normalize saying no to people and protecting our priorities ahead of theirs. It’s totally fine to say No.
For every time you say no, you’re protecting yourself, giving more time to yourself, and things that matter to you. Don’t make anyone make you feel bad or guilt trip you for saying no. Stand with your decisions, say no when you need to, and keep it moving.
Remember, if you don’t say no, your body will choose to say it to you.
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